Day Ten:

The Breadmaker. Ha! Let's just say my experiment didn't go well.  Luckily, after the overflowing incident, I was able to salvage the dough, let it rise again, and put it in the oven.  It wasn't half bad. Not half good, either. I figured out that if you doused it in butter, then in oil, it doesn't have the aftertaste of other gluten free products. Yum! I've decided to can the idea of the breadmaker, and if I decide to make bread again, I'll just go back to the trusty ol' oven.

Nothing much to report today... other than the fact that I'm still starving, and despite the fact that I have added protein shakes to my diet, they don't seem to cut it.  I'm hoping as more time passes this feeling will go away, because I just can't imagine continuing to battle with this.  I guess it's good that I don't have a real desire to eat, because I probably would have gained ten pounds by now, but I can't say it's helped my mood any.  I've discovered that my husband has rated my mood as being "foul" since the Celiac news broke.  I don't think he blames me, but I'm sure he's tired of listening to me.  Heck, I'm tired of listening to me.  But at the same time, he doesn't have to cut out all of the things he loves... so I'm not really feeling sorry for him. I'm still experiencing the occasional pity party, and I've decided that it's okay for now. 

So, the good news is that I've made it to day ten and I think, unscientifically, that I feel slightly better. The bad news is that I haven't really changed my attitude, haven't lost any weight (even though I was convinced I didn't care), and don't even understand how I'm going to do this for the rest of my life!  One day at a time.

In the car tonight I listened to my daughters singing and realized that so much, if not all, of my happiness revolves around them.  I need to stay focused on that, and let them give me the strength to get to tomorrow. I can do it.